As always, it's been awhile since I've had much to say, or maybe just since I had time to say it.
Life has been an interesting journey, lots of bumps, but tons of fields of flowers as well.
I really do wish I had more time to write, and I could say I will make time, but I would be lying.
Instead of complaining that I don't write, I'm just going to post things when I do have time, and let you worry about the space in between.
Sometimes the most inspiring thing you can say to a person, is actually to say nothing at all.
Or even to refuse to speak.
I had an issue recently that reminded me that being understanding and accommodating is not always the best way to go about something.
People are so used to everyone around them being complacent, not making a fuss, and never expressing displeasure or annoyance. Sometimes it is a huge dose of reality to tell someone "no, this is NOT ok" instead of the "It's fine" that everyone is so used to.
ROCK THE BOAT!
CAUSE A FUSS!!
MAKE A SCENE!!!
I had let myself become trapped in a world where I wanted everyone around me to be happy and healthy and ok, that I was putting my needs aside, or went out of my way to help people who clearly didn't want my help,
or at least who my help would not be enough for...
ENOUGH of that!
It's time for a stronger, wiser, tougher me.
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I've been toying with the idea of doing a video blog, because believe it or not, I have stage fright.
I had to record a video presentation for my business communications class, and started over 5 or 6 times, with plenty of "fuck, I'm an idoit!"s thrown in for good measure...
I was shaking and sweating, and it was just a camera in my own house!
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The smell of you,
on a sweater,
when you're at work.
The way your
stubbly cheek feels
against mine.
The way even a dirty bowl
left on the counter
makes me smile and think of you.
The way you hold me
when I cry.
And when I laugh.
Calling me from
another room and forgetting
what you had to say.
Always waking up
snuggled
on your side of the bed.
Knowing
that you are
mine forever.
