Some of what I have been doing is writing down song lyrics that catch my ear to try to analyze them or figure out what they mean to me, and how they relate to life right now,
so I will address those first.
The first is a song quote that I posted on my msn name, and had to take down due to some confusion... it is actually a quote from christian band Jars of Clay, and NOT a quote about bondage. (I had 5-6 people say "Sweet you are into BDSM now?!) :s
"I've got to admit I love these chains, and crawling around this cage sometimes has it's advantages"
this is something that caught my ear the first times I heard this song years and year and years ago, back in grade 9 or so, and I didn't exactly know why then either.
Something about how simple and true it is struck me I guess.
Life right now seems very complicated, but it comes down to it, it's not. yes there is problems, tons of them, but people would rather complain about them than do anything to fix them, (this is one of my other rants, so I guess my thoughts are more interconnected than I assumed at the beginning of this post) Complaining has become the north american bonding agent. No one starts a conversation with strangers by commenting on what a beautiful day it is, they complain about lines, or interest rates or gas prices. Society today LOVES to be miserable, because it is easier than trying to fix things, or even trying to be happy despite the way things are going.
Society's hold on people, the feeling of relinquished freedom gives people the false security of not having to fix problems or make decisions for themselves. They love the chains that tie them to the rest of society so they don't feel alone, and they love the cage the world keeps them in because they don't have to assume responsibility for any of the current issues with the economy or the environment or anything else for that matter.
Another quote that stuck in my mind was from a song called "you can do better" by Death Cab for Cutie.
"my old clothes don't fit like they once did, so they hang like ghosts of the people I've been"
This struck a note with me, because this past year, the person I am has changed very drastically, and this is quite literally happening to me. Not only do I need all new pants, (thanks raw food :p) but the old me does feel like a ghost to the new me. Sometimes a story will come up from the past, and even when it's me telling it, it doesn't feel like a story about me. It always seems more like a movie I saw or a book I read. There are certain things I have done or said, that when I think about them now I can't believe it ever happened.... things like amateur night, or how I used to say rude things just to shock people. Essentially who I am hasn't changed, but a lot about me has. It's very hard to describe, but I think people who know me well and have stuck with me this past year will have noticed, I know my family has.
well this was quite the long post, so I will do some more later :)
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